


It's A Bit of A Mess

by pinchess07



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Actually pre-slash, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And have a daughter named Maureen, And that the two are getting divorced, Fluff, Graves Lives, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings, They think Graves and Newt are married, Various people at MACUSA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 06:21:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9165799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinchess07/pseuds/pinchess07
Summary: For a prompt at the km: Fake Marrige/Dating trope, yes? yes?Is Newt's expertise needed on a case and they're required to go undercover as a couple?Did one of Newt's permits lapse and Graves promises to overlook it so long as a) Newt get's it renewed ASAP and b) pretend to be his SO at a charity event as an excuse to ward off suitors?Has one of the new Auror's in training misunderstood their relationship and accidentally starts a rumour that they're together and the two can't be bothered denying it but secretly like to fuck with the office by amping up their interactions (only to then actually be like, oh, hey, maybe there's something to this)?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'ed.

"For the nundu, Scamander. You forgot to renew the permit for your nundu," Mister Graves states flatly. He's leaning tensely on the edge of his desk, exuding a very dangerous aura.   
  
Newt laughs nervously, not daring to step further into the office. "Er, yes. I can understand why you might be a bit displeased, Mister Graves--"  
  
Mister Graves narrows his eyes. Newt swallows the rest of his words, suddenly remembering that Mister Graves might actually have the ability to cast Incendio wordlessly and wandlessly.  
  
"A bit displeased. Mercy Lewis, you Brits and your ridiculous understatements," Mister Graves scoffs. "It's not as if you're currently harboring a nundu, known to be able to spread disease across multiple cities at a town, without the proper permits to prove you're a capable and responsible owner. Oh, wait."  
  
Newt cringes. "It sounds bad when you put it that way, Mister Graves. But, er... I've taken care of Maureen all this time, expired permit or not. I assure you, I'm not about to unleash her on New York."   
  
There's a burst of movement, and then Mister Graves is _right in front of him._  
  
And there's a closed office door behind him.   
  
"...I'll go renew it right away?" Newt offers weakly.    
  
"Yes, you will," Mister Graves agrees seriously. He doesn't let Newt drop his gaze. "I know you're very capable of taking care of it, Newt. But other people don't. And they'll ask if you have a permit. That's what normal people do. They'll ask if you're allowed to have--Maureen, did you say? Maureen. And what will happen if you can't produce a permit for Maureen--"  
  
The door suddenly opens, flinging Newt forward into Mister Graves' arms. Mister Graves has to take a couple of hasty steps back to compensate, but they manage to stay upright.  
  
"Oh! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt!"   
  
The squeaky voice is distinctly female, although Newt doesn't recognize it. He doesn't even have the chance to turn and see who it was, since she runs off immediately.  
  
\- -  
  
MACUSA is abuzz with rumors by lunch.  
  
"--knew it!"  
  
"--been dating since--"  
  
"--fighting over who keeps their daughter!"  
  
"--Maureen, I heard it from his lips--"  
  
The blush on Newt's face is threatening to become permanent. At least three old ladies have come by to congratulate him, and at least four men have clapped his shoulder, offering their condolences on his 'crashing and burning' relationship with Mister Graves.  
  
One even gives him this gem: "Try witholding sex for a month, he'll come crawling right back with apologies. _Don't_ let him take the kid, she'll be miserable."  
  
Newt runs off like he had bludgers on his tail. He ends up in a filing closet... somewhere. He can't see anyone in the vicinity, at least. His face is _on fire._  
  
\- -  
  
"Boss, you do realize we all received _missives_ from Theseus Scamander, don't you? We have strict instructions about what to do when someone makes a move on Baby Scamander. We're to owl him--"  
  
"You'll do no such thing, Johnson! You're not working under the man,  you've got no obligation to follow his orders!" Another Auror, Wardsworth, cuts the young Auror off sharply. "And boss is trustworthy! Scamander's not got nothing worry about!"  
  
Ah, sucking up to him. As if that could absolve Wardsworth of his guilt about not noticing Percival's _brief leave of absence._  
  
"But really, boss, how long have you been keeping the relationship secret, eh?" Reynolds pouts. "You coulda told me, I wouldn't have told no one!"  
  
He's probably the biggest liar and gossip of the three.  
  
He only glares at Reynolds until the guy goes back to his own desk. His underlings are a bunch of fools, save perhaps Goldstein, who's in her own desk and focused on her work.  
  
He'd nodded when Goldstein had discreetly asked him earlier in an undertone, "His nundu permit is up?"  
  
He's not saying anything else to anyone else. If they're dumb enough to believe rumors, then that's their problem.  
  
He takes a moment to wonder where Newt had gone, but then decides that the possibility of Newt _actually_ sorting Maureen's papers is very small.   
  
He sighs and steps back out of the Auror department, intent on hunting the ginger down.  
  
He checks the Permits office first, and predictably, they have seen neither hide nor hair of Newt Scamander.  
  
He ends up wandering the halls aimlessly, as it seems no one has set sights on Newt since lunch at the cafeteria.  
  
Asking other people of Newt's whereabouts just adds to fuel to the fire, and he hears the rumors evolve to outrageous proportions.   
  
Apparently he and Newt are now married and on the edge of divorce, and that's why Percival Graves himself is desperately searching for his husband, who's threatening to take off with their daughter into parts unknown.  
  
He reminds himself that Picquery will make him attend every single international diplomatic meeting for a month if he shouts at Madam Sundertoll.  
  
It doesn't help his pounding headache.  
  
A wet mop sideswipes him when he lingers too long at a corridor. He stumbles inside a filing cabinet, right onto the person he's been searching for.  
  
Newt, having been caught entirely offguard, is unable to maintain his balance. They topple over with a deafening crash, upending hundreds of file folders on themselves as they go down, because Newt had tried to grab on to the blasted things to prevent their fall.  
  
"This... is all a bit of a mess, isn't it, Mister Graves?" Newt asks nervously from his position under Percival. There's _maybe_ a foot between them, if that.  
  
Newt doesn't act offended or opposed or afraid of Percival's proximity, however. _Interesting._ Newt's visibly nervous, but there's also the start of a small smile on his lips.  
  
The sound of footsteps running to their location makes Percival groan.  
  
_"Mercy Lewis!"_ is the exclamation that follows.   
  
To Percival's surprise, the man roughly grabs his elbow and drags him away forcefully, before helping Newt up.  
  
Whoever the man is, he seems to have decided that _Percival_ is the bad guy in this scenario. He shoots Percival a scathing glare.  
  
"Mister Graves! This is no way to behave in the office! Moreover, this is no way to behave at all! You do not force yourself on someone so clearly unwilling! No wonder Mister Scamander is intent on divorcing you!" The man turns to Newt, who's just gaping at them. "You're making the right decision, dear. Go and take your daughter and your person away from this wretched man! I'll hold him off!"  
  
Percival meets Newt's gaze over the man's shoulder, and Newt lets out a weird noise. He quickly brings his hand up to cover his mouth and looks away.  
  
Percival narrows his eyes just as Newt glances back at him. His shoulders start shaking, and his his eyes are crinkled around the edges in amusement.  
  
Percival narrows his eyes even further, and Newt loses it, dissolving into giggles that shake his whole body with it.  
  
"Wha-?" the man between them splutters.  
  
"I'm so glad you find all of this so amusing, Newt," Percival starts to say sardonically, but his lips are pulling up in a small smile by the end.  
  
"What's going on in here?" The man demands. Percival scowls at him, saying nothing for the moment.  
  
He'll let Newt explain, for once.  
  
"Sorry, er... Sir," Newt offers, once his giggling fit passes. His freckled cheeks are a beautiful shade of pink. "But, it's all a big misunderstanding. I'm not, er, _divorcing_ Mister Graves. Or running off with our daughter."  
  
The man eyes both him and Newt suspiciously. Percival waits for Newt to continue, but Newt doesn't. He has this sheepish smile on his face, which is _adorable,_ granted, but it doesn't really help clear everything up.  
  
"So you've just been having a lover's tiff, is that it? Mercy Lewis, why's everyone all bothered about it, then? Bunch of senile fools, the lot of them, as if they didn't have the occasional fight with their own--" the man storms off, grumbling to himself.  
  
"Wait, no, that's not what-- we're not--" Newt tries to explain, but the man rounds a corner and doesn't look back.  
  
"Newt..." Percival sighs.  
  
"I'm really sorry, Mister Graves! I mean, there's no way we're married! There's no way we'd even be lovers, in the first place, because, I mean, I'm just... Me, and you're not interested, you're never gonna be intere--"  
  
Percival interrupts him, manners be damned. Where did Newt even get the idea that he wasn't interested? He has Newt's permit expiration dates memorized, that's how interested he is!  
  
"I am," Percival blurts out. Newt blinks at him uncomprehendingly.  
  
"Interested. I really, really am, Newt. If you think I waste my time taking note of when your permits expire just because I don't trust you to take care of your creatures, you're wrong. I do it because I _care,_ Newt. Because I don't want them to be parted from you anymore than you do," Percival adds.  
  
"Oh. Blimey. Er... Thank you, I suppose. I don't want them to be parted from me either," Newt says, looking stunned.  
  
Well. _That's..._  
  
That's fine. It's fine.  
  
Percival nods, then cants his head toward the direction of the Permits office.  
  
"Come on, then. Let's get that permit renewed before the day is over--"  
  
He's already half-turned when Newt barrels into him, clutching at his arm.  
  
"Mister Graves-- Percival, can I call you Percival?" Newt asks in a rush. Percival raises his eyebrows in surprise.  
  
"Yes, Newt?"  
  
"Percival, would you like to join me in my case later? I mean... What I'm trying to say is..."  
  
"A date? Inside your case?" Percival clarifies. Newt nods, blushing again.  
  
"I don't really know many good places for a date here in New York. I guess there's Gnarlack's--"  
  
"Absolutely not. Compared to that, I'd pick your case every time," Percival informs him. Newt beams.  
  
It's like the first warm ray of sunshine after a long winter night.

**Author's Note:**

> I mean, the man memorizes your permit expiration dates, I'd call that interested, really. It's like taking note of a woman's monthly period and bringing her chocolates every time. Only Graves style. 
> 
> I'd love to know what you think :)


End file.
